authenticity...

i m not reli the best person to talk abt this. But i guess its reli somethin many of us are dealing with at the moment. Being who you are. Not puttin up false fronts or barriers. Or living double lives or anythin of tat sort. i bet u noe wat i mean rite.

One face at this place and another face at another place. And i guess at the back of ur mind u'd be thinking manz this isnt right but oh wells i'll just go with it anyway becoz its ok for now. I'll get out of it soon and then u start reasonin and reasonin and the principles ur lives are based upon slowly crumble.

Now i hate to ramble on but i look at my own life and realise tat yea living a life and admiting tat ur not wat ur words say u are is tough. Wats tougher is just making that realisation. And making a drastic change takes courage of a different kind. Then again, sometimes we just hv to go through life living on the edge to realise how gracious HE has been... And reli i look back I honestly thank God...There were mistakes, big ones, and reli after makin too much mistakes, i made this decision to just stop tryin on my own and reli break me...

I am crucified with christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but christ liveth in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave His life for me.

if ur all is crucified it means there's nth to hide. And watever pride we hv we gotta put it aside...and i guess gotta crucify it. Not the literal but in a way put it away. Slowly. ANd when i think crucify, its painful and a slow death. So the old man will never go away so soon. BUt it doesnt mean goin to the extreme and being sooo rigid. Its balance, as much as we live on His grace we gotta balance it with the pursuit of puttin away wat we thought was impt and to acknowledge tat we gotta get on the right track....

ok dun wanna go into sermon hahas. but i guess its the constant examination of ur life everyday tats impt. anyway its a process. Its a slow walk...and sometimes when i feel i've grown tired He becomes the pit stop...

anyway day two, and reli all my worries added to nothing. Thank God tat there is still time and reli i'm so gotta study adn reli pray and reli just reflect on things. Cant wait to see wat else he has in store for me....its just an amazing journey tat will never end. and the more i retell it the more i realise how wonderful God is. And reli its a process of healing. Process of removin guilt in our lives if we just live as truthful as we want.

hai tats all for now...cant wait for the wkend. feel just like my trainin days. hahas wells isnt is still tranin days? lol


Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross
You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You areThe word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart






PS(added at 52mins past midnite) An answered prayer!!!! Hahahas. Thank God. Wells I passed the thing i was dreadin. Hahas. Apparently it was a just pass but anyways a pass is a pass. And the nxt step is to reli just pray even more. Hahas.