into the corner once more....

hahas intended to finish 2 entries b4 this. 1 on my trip back to philippines and 2 some entry that's prolly related to this entry. But oh wells currently my mind suddenly went to a high alert and i'm so in a mess dat i myself an unsure how this entry will turn out but oh wells i guess her it goes. Whether it be literal or abstract i guess its up to anybody to decipher. Wat i mean here now can mean another thing to me the next time i see it. I guess tats the things with humans, we always change our perceptions, our feelings, our aspirations. We lack the consistency i suppose. Even me. I realise dat and I am guilty of it...down to the very bone... and i guess this is some lingering thought...

a womans intuition spells danger for a man
For he can never decipher reason
As best a woman can
A man can focus on something and forget the other
A woman is aware of everything yet wants no other
Than attention from someone who'd give her fodder
To feed the pangs of a longing that can never be found
In a single receipt after a shopping spree...
I know you beg to differ
And so do I but honestly if you look at the mirror
There are two different minds here
Yours and mine
Man and woman
Guy and girl
We're wired differently
So explains the expectations we have
For example if I forget its a demerit to me
But if its you who forgets its just silence you'll see
I hate to differentiate but I can't accomodate
All this thoughts anymore...
Its like a tug of war
Between me, you and He...
For days I wondered why it stopped...
This certain longing, missing thingy...
I struggled and prayed day and night
What was this all abt...
And now the clock has struck 12 and it seems
The fairytale nite is over....

sorry if i sounded abit MCP...no intention to defame the other side of my fellow sisters or so...just feelin abit uptight abt somethin now. I reli reli dunnoe how to handle it this time. Its the hesitation of breaking somethin precious in my hands in return for something much precious on offer. But I hate to be the one who destroys someone. BUt if everythin is all in His time and will such an explanation be even acceptable to you?

I look back I see the smiles of a time I knew was special. But now it seems those smiles hv faded to a moment so jaded dat the new smile i hv today is finding it difficult to surface in fear of leaving a smile tat was so wide it melted a part of me... but the smile I hv is even brighter than b4....why the hesitation?

I'm sorry its been a mth...and its reli been a long mth of silence btw the gulfs. And even as I type I noe this gulf of misunderstandings are growing ever so big. I din mean to. And dun read too much into this. Because as humans be and humans do....we are always on this brink of insanity...and wat we mean today means somethin else tomolo and the day after tat and so on... So to conclude...its into the corner to think of this "horror" and its 12more days b4 all is lost...dats how drastic I'll think and limit my time here. BUt watever door appears i'll probably take it and never look back...

It reminds me of a story whr a person looks back and becomes a pillar of salt....but the ones who din look back din reli end up livin a life worth livin...sighs...

true happiness is wat we all seek...but somehow now i dunnoe how to make u happy....