knotty...

the longer this yarn of life is spun, the more entangled they become. With mangled thoughts, and interwoven distraughts. in a world where ppl dun see eye to eye, where hearts are never as one, its sad that our focus is not the same...

we desire convenience, we desire everyone bowing down b4 us, we expect to be adhered to and boy do we expect to be heard. What if God took ur voice away? Ruined ur desires and shattered them like clay? What if he dismantled ur authority and bring you down to your knees? What if he made everything so difficult for you? Would you by then accept the fact you were wrong? Would you still thank God for throwing your life in dissarray? When do we end our journey? Its not up to us to decide...

the world sets retirement dates, I can only say my service ends at my death. Sometimes prolly I say this because I dare say it but it'll be my ending if i dun live up to my words. Because I know all men can fail. I've learnt not to trust in men always. For they can disappoint you. they can take a word and break ur heart. ANd i noe i will fail unless I hv God on my side.

I understand we all have to remember our past, but remembering is one, holding on to a past tat has become history is something we ought to let go. The traditions we had held on to will change, because after all it is man's doing. But the message is forever the same. The focus is evermore the same. All this knots have to be untied and let loose. And I noe I cant do it, only God can. The healing can only be through God.

Sometimes I wonder why all this things happen. Why does one brother in the same faith hate another? Why cant we accept a person for who he or she is? Or why is it you turn away when you know I'm in need? Or why do you talk behind my back and stab me and not say it in my face? Why does one spread lies abt one brother and sister? WHy cant friendships be true and innocent? Why are ppl as such? Why am I like this? If ever the world was so perfect, there'd be no need for improvement and renewing of our lives... Sadly it isnt. Sadly everyone isnt. And sadly ppl just grow numb to all this. And all the more enforces how sad it is to depend on humans...coz they will one way or another fail u...

but in God we have victory...and prolly not many will understand wat that means....and I have yet to taste true victory once more... Coz its not abt me or you anymore...