my prayer...

today i met the youths at church. its nice to see em. their smiles and their playfulness. And like seeing tat this yr there is this sincere desire among them to reli live. Wells am not sure how much of em reli wanna hv this experience with God. Wat I found out today was there was this genuine feeling tat they reli wanna noe how to live a life dats worht living. Wells be it whether they wanna noe all the things to do and not to do, I just pray they realise that in the end of the day it all boils down to this 2 things.

1. Does it glorify God in all things that I do?
2. Does it edify the saints?

I learnt this as I sat with em for 2hrs plus with one of the pastors as we debated the gray areas. ANd like making things clear abt how shd our attitude be in all we do. ANd like we even discussed things like baptism, infant baptism, and stuff(pagan traditions in our church, christian music, denominations etc). What struck me was this, wats the entire motive in us knowing wats right? To prove to all that we are better than another brethren? ANd to show that we are right in our own ways? ANd that our "form" is the only form all shd conform to? I may be young, I may be still learning but one thing I learnt frm all this judgin is tat it will get us nowhere. It will make us no different than the world outside. I feel is that in some way we may be focusin too much in filling our heads with truths that probably have nothing to do with our lives. Like so wat if I noe this and that yet my life is not affected by wat i noe? Doesnt it all become vanity and grasping for the wind?

We may condemn and say its not good, we may even look down on a brother for totally contradicting himself or becoz he is doin a particular practice, but hv we reli gone to tat brother and found out wat he thinks? FOund out how God has worked in his life rather than wat he knows abt the facts? Yes i am not sayin we shdnt know. Its good to know, its good to ask, its good to argue and voice out ur qns, but if tats all we are hungering to prove that we are right and the other is wrong who will wanna be a christian? Do you noe how stressful it is and difficult it is to move one life if we just show it on paper that you are gonna die and end up in hell? And you are wrong and I am right? Isnt that wat turns those ard us off especially those who may be lost and discouraged in this world, when we talk abt this way of life?

I'm just so filled with questions now, like wondering how can one so openly change sides so easily and never reli been touched at all. Like after one mth, it all shows tat there is this unresolved thing and probably something that has always been there and not addressed and one thing comes to mind, the seeds that have been sowned, and like the different grounds it fell upon, i suppose it will show. Furthermore, because God works in his own timing, I may not be able to see the seeds grow yet and I guess this is the exciting thing, seeing the seeds that were planted grow. Maybe the harvest is yet to come? Or maybe the harvest has come and the yield is little? It could be either or noe? And this troubles me in some way, yet I am not sad coz its His work, and its His field and only He can make these hearts(grounds) accept those seeds. ANd I suppose the seeds must continue to be sowned.

The bonds and friendships are there, and I pray that this fragile relationships we have, though marred with much intertwinned knots and unknown grudges and other stuff, that God preserve them and that He unties them one by one, slowly and that some ppl will understand and feel probably for the first time God's love in their lives. Because this is all we have? ANd I pray that we/they don't fall into the same cycle once more. That cycle whr we frm dec to jan we're so zealous and stuff and come feb, march, april, may, it all dies down this fire. But this yr I dont doubt that God is at work. The "kids" are stirring. And I can sense that the church is gonna feel the pinch of havin this youth hunger for more of the teaching.

I'm thankful God lead me to speak with a sister of mine, been prayin for an opportunity to talk to her and catch up. Thank God we did, and I felt that in life we meet ppl, we lose ppl, then one day we meet them again to check on one another. And realise how you can be a blessing to them and be that check on one another's life. I pray that in watever she does, God will restore her and untwine those knots in her life.

BUt overall my prayer is that this youth know that this God is real. HOw i ask myself? I even concluded that many of us havent been moved enough or reli experienced God workin in ppl's lives to be amazed at what He has done for someone. Well I believe only GOd can prepare the hearts of this youth to be able to see this wonder...because unless God works, watever we say and do, nothing will happen.



(the song may not be the best copy but oh wells its our theme song this yr)

I realised that in this song FOr you I will live, we do not realise the real seriousness of really commtting our lives and even in singing this song. ANd like for you I will live, what does it mean? if we examine our lives be it mine, i even wonder which part of me has reli lived for him? In my life last yr I looked back and saw how I can just forget everythin adn live how I want to. Even now, there are parts of me whr I wanna live for my own. ANd today I realised how difficult it is to sing this song if u really wanna sing it frm the heart and mean it because I know its not easy to do as the song says because we are after all a work in progress. But I am not discouraged, for I noe I will just hv to let God work more in me...and boy is tat more exciting than just feelin bad for myself...