i'm a waffle...

i nvr was able to bring myself yesterday to say stuff here. firstly had a convo with char and the topic was guys and gals. one insight was that guys are waffle headed(probably becoz of the isolated spaces they r made of) or like a storeroom with different moving boxes(u noe the types u use when ur movin hse)... why i wondered and now i finally see the picture... its amusin but kinda true coz yea when guys think they r in a box. everythin they see and do would be accordin to this box... so dun blame a guy if he's just so fixated on his probs and stuff... he's in his box and doesnt see beyond it and doesnt seem to connect the other boxes together.

secondly char mentioned gals think like sphaghetti...linking everythin up well since i m no gal i cant reli describe it for myself but yea gals and guys think differently...and guys handle dun open up as easily as gals coz reli gals can just rattle and rattle coz dats their nature whr guys need like hermit crabs need to feel safe before comin out so if u bombard him with qns he just wont come out coz he'll probably feel intimidated by the qns...oh wells i guess there's still alot to learn there...

anyway i'm probaly stuck in a box rite now so dont blame me if i just look dazed and all...and also my health is at its worse now...hahas cant believe they r actually gonna monitor me for the nxt wk or so just becoz i went to jb...i guess i m like this due to the 30 days of not sleepin or havin less than 3hrs of slp...i cant sleep at 11 anymore...and when i got out today i came home sufferin frm a migraine caused by the days stress i suppose...anyway the only comfort i can get frm all of this is dat 2more days it'll be over and revision for the A's start... i noe i din make up to wat i said its my fault so i dun blame anythin else...i noe it'll be difficult for the teachers to believe me as i guess by tat time my credibility may be at its lowest but even so i'm getting out of this box after this 2days... or start crawling at least...they may give up on me...they may spite me...they may pity me...but i noe i wont let myself down another time...and yea this indeed isnt a good testimony to begin with...but i'll just go down right frank abt it...i'm in deep trouble... i noe my dad and mom will find this opportunity to nag and all not as if i've heard enough for the past wk over issues not concernin me...but i wont run away like they are now...i'll just accept it...take my com away for the nxt 4mths...probably dats the best way...kill the tv...and make it like some military institute...discipline...but i guess if it doesnt start within...then none of this changes will change...if others can why cant i? even the slackers in my class i m confident will make it through this midyrs and probably just scrape through with their God given talents...i noe i m probably not as talented...but i enjoy all this learnin but not the tests so wat does tat make me? hahas...

anyway an interestin sayin my dad said durin our sunday sch discussion... "dun believe a guy if he says i love you, believe him only if he says i wanna marry u!" how true it is in just one sentence tat the thing abt commitment can be seen coz ultimately when u get into such things the aim is to settle down and if ur not prepared to do so just dun...wells i guess at home things dun seem to be settlin down...bros dun appear to be comin clean with anythin...dad fumin even more...how to live in such an environment...well its not abt me anyway...i guess i'm just gonna be home...and just be there and hope tat everythin will turn out fine...if not...i guess its all part of growing...and probably its abt time i slow down for now...

july july is comin...and i'll be 1/5 of a century...welcome to the ty's...hahas dats wat my mom said on joel's b'day...oh wells wat does this month hold? excitement...probably everyone will tone down their studyin since mids are over...i noe tomolo is a foregone conclusion...hahas...but i wont go down without a fight! and yea after all it's the A's ainit?