iced up isolation...

maybe ppl noticed... maybe they didnt... tat all this while i've been running. From who i m not reli sure... but suddenly like my biggest secret un-earthed unconsciously i find myself frozen..

why frozen? i never noticed anythin wrong with me till u said i m isolating myself... then it cracks... images of my past actions appear in a flash showing wat i've done as i isolate frm the pack... do i want to fade away? do i?

y isit i'd wanna be in my world alone? i dun got any idea...why is it i always prefer to walk alone... wat am i hiding? wat m i running away frm? even as i sit here thoughts running so fast i m unsure of wat to put down... i've got nothin to bitch abt... i've got no one to hate? to love?

honestly... i do. i m beginning to hate whr i am. beginning to hate this whole process of living life freely coz i just live it irresponsibly. i give off the coldness of a viscious rattle snake or even a taipan tat with slight provocation i strike not knowing the damage my venom has on others.

i think i m insane. i think i m some kind of character i watched on tv and one day devise a plan to destroy humanity.what power. wat divinity...wat rubbish.

encased in this cell, i shudder at the thought of a hell.
an abyss whr nothingness is the key
i look across i see life, i see happiness
but i care not to take it
i rather kp frozen then melt and be forced to protect it.
is that why u walk away?
feigning wat u noe is right?
who would've known dat all this while
the real prob is u?
U chose wat to believe...
U chose wat u wanted...
U chose to be insane...
U chose to be frozen...
coz who knows after all...
u chose to be this way...
and only U know the way out...
the longer u wait...
it will never come...
the time is now..
U decide...

i am in a world whr i is the rule. my love for others grows cold. my love for self destruction grows ever stronger. is this wat u call self sacrifice?

in a few more mths...it'll be over... just a few more mths of isolation. building up that wall preventing outside penetration...

sighs... its all just random... someone get a wrench and hit me on the head... gorge out my brain and splatter it on the road ahead... drag my body and torch it good...and when i m done let the crows come down and feast on me... let them taste me... let them taste who i am... at least i noe i m giving another life and become a part of something bigger than i...

ps. considering the nature of wat i hv written...dun take it in too seriously... its nonsense...

pps. i m a refuge of my own doing... this is not reality...