comes full circle...

now i noe why i was thinkin of this for the night.

its funny how You think and the way You work in the lives of others and how You use others to get them to realise You exist. Call it coincidence? call it chance...

i'd say its just God workin in ppl.

just had a convo with one of my closest fren whom i havent been talkin to for quite sometime. and through dat convo realised tat the way out is to just accept there is no way out except relyin on the one who can lead me out of this rut i made for myself. like i said i m a refugee of my own doin...

well if u've been readin my previous entries and compare it to my old blog which is the defunct gonnjin.blogspot.com dat same tone of negativity, insecurity is there. there is like no sense of joy. no laughter nothing. its all negativity. i mean i chose to run, i wasnt forced to? i wanted to do it on my own but look i m tired, frustrated. and in an instant i can snap like no one's business. i hate everythin. nothing is workin for me. wat i need now is not advice.

and lo and behold like a God send, this fren of mine clicks on me and asks one qn that makes me say wat i've been keepin there for the past 3mths... and yea like i said. its funny how God works. and i guess all this while i've been running and nothing happenin has made me reli tired. and i guess its abt time i stopped and return to whr i was. its not easy but i noe help is ard me.

i wont make a resolution coz they'll never work. but rather just pray b4 i slp tonite tat the fire tat once burnt bright rekindles in me and be used to warm others who are cold inside... well finally i feel the drops of water falling frm this frozen heart of mine. and like a big blow on my head, i can think clearer now. no more wondering thoughts or mild insane imaginations. its just now keeping my heart, mind and soul focused on Him and not lose sight of the goal.

i noe this may sound crazy but suddenly i can feel the strength i used to hv. but at least m clearer nw. but dun expect a changed man overnight. lol. i noe it'll take time but i guess i wonder wat's in store for me dis yr... :)

its as if my new yr begins now.... well thankfully it did :)