looking forward...

i wanna say that its been awhile. Blessed christmas and a Blessed New year to all! I know its abit over due but christmas happens all the time as we constantly remember daily the amazing grace given to us by our God above as well as the ability to wake up to a new morn daily.

I thank God for the ppl who have wished me well for the coming year, and I thank God for every remembrance of the ppl I've come into contact with over the last year. I may not be the bestest of friends or the bestest in initiating alot of things, but i thank God tat he reminds me of this little weakness of mine.

But I read yesterday this verse and the verse was read again today in worship, how interesting it is tat we went through philippians 3 yesterday and talking abt achievements and saw wat paul thought abt achievements. That its nothin more than dung! And that to know Jesus is the greatest thing we can achieve ever.

I recall verse 13, saying (paraphrased) that I shd not look back and say i've achieved much, but to look forward as I press towards the mark, God's std, the high calling that is the crown promised to us(vs14). Its not tat I hv achieved anything, maybe I've had milestones, but i will not hold on to tat but to continue and press on.

This coming year is reli tough. Just 4 days into it and i can feel the weight of it all. There is even a voice tat says, "are you reli cut out for this life for 2009?" "You reli sure you can lead? or why do ppl still not change much?" "You sure u can teach?" "Wait till u experience it". I know these voices aren't from God. But they are my voices, my insecurities screaming out at me. And if u notice the I's in there, where as a matter of fact it shd never be abt me.

I forget tat it was God who placed me where I am. It is God as part of His promise to me tat he would instruct me and guide me in the way i should go and guide me with His eye(ps32:8). I forget that it is God who is the source and that Jesus is the vine. I was reading the story of Noah as my devotion just now, How amazing tat it is God who initiated, all tat He commanded Noah was to build the ark according to its specifications and though he was commanded to bring 2 animals of each kind, in v20 of gen6 we see tat God said they will come to him. Amazing. I was thinking if God didn't do it, would his family be able to? (leadin the animals becoz its alot of animals on the face of the earth and i think its humanly impossible) Its a sobering thought and an encouragin one tat God is in control. When God gives a task He knows we can do it(imagine the specifications He gave to Noah and I bet Noah had some form of skill to be able to build it but even so God is still the ever present help) and for the more bigger task He will be there always, and we just gotta do wat we gotta do.

I guess looking forward to 2009, it seems like doom is hangin in the air, seems like ppl in the church are worried abt the ppl leaving the church, but is it our job to worry? What are the tasks that God has placed us in? It seems its gonna be a tough road, and I'm not sayin I m or hv all the answers or wat, but I thank God for the reminder in 1tim1:1...Jesus is the Hope we cling on to. Even now i feel tat maybe things are happening too fast, that ppl arent seeing the importance or enthusiastic of wat we do, but i was reminded through Noah, maybe my task is building the ark, and He will take care of the passengers in it. And maybe its not so much in the building its in the obedience to His word tat I hv to do rather than the acts of doin.It starts with me. Just as Noah after being commanded, He began the task.

Ppl will disappoint, ppl will hurt u, ppl will irritate, but thank God for grace, tat He gives patience(reminded of the song Amazing grace), I'm reli wondering how to engage ppl and to challenge them(thinking of the ppl in yf, my committee members, my P6sunday sch class and sch kids) and I guess i shall pray to Jesus to help me out. Be my wisdom and my strength and to rest in Him...and to trust in Him(prov3:5-6) and yesterday i picked phil 3:9-10 as my guiding verse of the year:
"And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;"

I still remember LCDC, of the song Knowing you that k.mark introduced tat there is no greater thing. I guess at the end of the day its not abt the ppl i teach, its not abt wat i wanna achieve, ultimately its abt me and my Lord. To know Him more and I guess tats what He wants to remind me, that its abt me and Him and I'm just his vessel. Praise God for everything. And I thank you for this reminder.

Even the thought of how there is alot of work to be done in the youth ministry(its not just abt YF numbers and whether we shd move up or down or we're stuck at one place far too long), In His time He will send the rain. But at the mean time its abt being thankful and gracious and thankful for the link and door he has opened(i'm talking abt making contact with the TTF and actually befriending them and Having them to pray for us and to hv someone feed us and share with them our burdens and to sharpen one another and I feel God has a greater plan somewhere and He is the one who'll open the eyes of the heart of the ppl, not me. NOT ME.) It's a tough year ahead...BUT, its one tat has a lot of promise becoz i noe where i've placed my life on, there is hope!

i am again reminded of this song tat its not by my might nor by power or place of leadership, but by His spirit. Wait on Him and delight myself in the Lord...Thank you Lord for these feelings and reflections. 4days down, 361 more days to enjoy His grace, and definitely i understand wat it means to be strengthened in His grace. 2tim 2:1

Its Not By Might - Psalty