I'm in love!

i'm hrs before flyin off. WElls my itinerary for the wk is 3 days of goin round the city or other areas, visiting, sight seeing etc. Then starts i guess the LDC camp. HOnestly I'm going with actually no expectations in mind but with one just coming to seek and find. And I'm not sure who I'll meet what will happen. But yea I just told myself that I just need a break. Maybe that's the only expectation. Seeking for that somethin that I cant find.

Anyway that aside, today's msg was into the love of God. The words spoken today just reached and stirred me to actually write this. As I was listening I was thinkin of the many "loves" I have the many desires I want, the many lusts I want. Yet this one line stuck out today. The fact God sent His son to die shows that above everything else our salvation is more impt than anything! Sometimes we do take this love for granted. We begin searching for the love that changes every now and then. A love that fails. Love which has conditions and expectations. A love that betrays and is selfish. A love that isn't patient. A love that is not opened and free. A love that isn't giving but taking. A love that rejoices being in the dark. A love that is so full of guilt and weary.

Silly why I said all that. Its so obvious isnt it? But I still wonder why do we pursue a love thats just ordinary and only extends within my own boundaries? I admit I was once snared by it. Trapped and lost I thought that was the end of my journey in love. But the love I've experienced and I'm in now isnt the one's you can pick up in the bookstore. Its not abt etiquette or being well mannered. It's the sudden realisation that the love in this world is futile. It cant give that which lasts forever...

we all know. That which lives in our hearts will always keep reminding us. Yet its sad that many ignore it to the pt we grow numb from it. Reminds me of wat Paul said to the thessolonians... Quench not the spirit. I know what it feels to quench it. To compromise and say its ok. A lil bit longer. A lil bit longer. I'll pray. I'll do anythin but that....we all know too well don't we? The warning signs are all around us. BUt still many just take the drop.

And I guess the qn we all hv to struggle with is where is your heart? Who holds the keys to your heart? We know the answer yet we dont do it. And I guess many a times when we say God is speaking, we just say it becoz we felt the stirring of the spirit. But in the end wat do u do abt it that matters. In james it does say be ye doers of the word, not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. Live it. Do it. Simple? For some yes, others or shd i say many its mainly no.(silly coz even in our daily lives, such as my past year and 10mths wearing the green its all abt walking the talk. Especially when u r put in a position to lead and teach but why in matters that will take us to eternity its another story...)

I'm in love. And I know there are times when I've been unfaithful. Putting other things on top either than Loving Him. Jesus. (stewardship lesson just now) its somethin i'm workin on and not take for granted this gift.

Anyway one thing I learnt this year is this, people change. People can disappoint. People can fail you. And people can hurt. But after all that, I still thank the Lord for the trials that come my way.

okok shall stop. I wonder in 10days wat can change? Even if it does I'm certain that the Love that covers us all will never change, yesterday today forever!