somethin's gotta give...

I honestly wanted to sit here yesterday and air one depressed msg but in the end I worked things out with myself and realised that there is a worm in me that I hv to deal with and realised sulking and feelin horrible abt it aint gonna work and honestly wat else do I hv to do but allow God to deworm me. And reli this worm has been plaguing me for sometime and honestly this wk I was reli appaled at the condition of myself. To the extent I felt like shuttin myself from this world. BUt I guess everything happens for a reason and God allowed me to fall and feel this horrible to remind me tat there is this worm tat He has to do and I cant get rid of it on my own.

So when I said surrender in my previous posts, I realise it takes time to surrender everythin one step of the time... And when I said surrender my emotions, these are emotions tat I face especially when I m at an idle state, and I realise it may end up eating me and plaguing my conscience and robbing me of peace and integrity. I want it to stop and I know, I reli know I cant and its reli a big struggle a big worm tat has entangled itself in the crevices and slowly is growing, and I know God wants to kill it.

ANd I thank Him. Because this is wat I faced this wk,and I know He will make a way and will cure me and cleanse this mind and heart of mine and restore me once more, And I want it because His will states He will complete the work in me because my life is still a work in progress and I trust Him and I want to claim teh promise tat in order to kp my life pure I will hold fast to His word.

Sometimes it may seem like I'm so following the book and all and being rigid but reli, I'm just like any of you strugglin in lives struggles. It wasnt easy but wat else could we do but to do wat we ought to do, and I thank God tat today I pray tat even before I say the prayer with my parents, tat the Lord will cause a revival in my brothers lives because reli, somethin has gotta give, I cant sit down and do nth and leave it to someone else but I gotta fight this battle and I know I can becoz others hv done it b4 why cant i? And I know my parents need me and we need God...

Over the wk been ministered by listening to some songs and reli the lyrics alone capture an attribute of who God is and honestly there are a few songs i wanna share lar so i'll just put them here,

He never sleeps
When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray
Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer in on it's way
Our God is able
He is mighty
He is faithful
And He never sleeps He never slumbers
He never tires of hearing our prayer
When we are weak
He becomes stronger
So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him
Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten our need
Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see
Our God is able
He is mighty
He is faithful

Hear Us From heaven
Lord, hear our cry Come heal our land
Breath life into these dry and thirsty souls
Lord, hear our prayer
Forgive our sin
And as we call on Your name
Would You make this a place
For Your glory to dwell

Chorus:
Open the blind eyes
Unlock the deaf ears
Come to Your people
As we draw near
Hear us from heaven
Touch our generation
We are Your people
Crying out in desperation

Bridge:
Hear Us From Heaven,
Hear Us From Heaven,
Hear Us From Heaven (4x)

Breakthrough
Break through,break through all my doubts
Break through, break through all my fears
Break through,that i may worship you
Break through, break through all my pain
Break through all my guilt and my shame
Break through like only you can do

You are brighter than my darkest night
Stronger than my toughest fight
Just one touch from you my king my friend
And i’ll never be the same again

O break through all my pain
Break through all my guilt and my shame
Break through like only you can do
O break through like only you can do
O God break through like only you can do
(songs by Don Moen)
sometimes i just let the songs be a prayer and honestly one time I just thought of the things I reli need God to break through in me and tonight i sensed one and I pray tat at the end of the day as much as I am overwhelmed by my inadequacies, I'll be overwhelmed by His blessings(not just material but honestly spiritual blessings)... Now you may qn tat it's ccm and stuff but honestly sometimes when I myself dunnoe wat to think of i play this songs and think upon the words...and it becomes personal btw me and Him...