a satisfied dissatisfaction...

wells how else could I speak abt this wkend? God is just faithful. When I thought I couldnt make it, it just happened tat by a slim chance I did. Just thankful and reli glad to see it turn out well. Wells somethings din occur as planned due to reasons but I'm still glad that it just went accordingly. The weather was good, the ppl were happy and after readin their feedback on another last min sheet, it seems that its good and I feel tat if there is gonna be another event as such we gotta zoom into the choke ups tat occured this time ard. BUt yea just gotta entrust it to Him now. And honestly even thought I din participate in the activities of settin up stuff I reli thank God for allowing me to open up and talk to some of my boys and gettin to know em. For instance one of em who said din have an aim in life. Kinda shared him some christian principles and if the Lord wills I pray for more occassions such as this in the remaining days with this boys. As much as I want it to end, I reli feel the pangs of missing them and embarkin on another journey in the mths to come...

the comin wk is duty wk as well as holy wk. its gonna be tiring for sure. but i know in watever i face i know God is there. prayin tat i find time to prepare the briefin for the joy leaders in the comin wk and reli pray for em and start with the core leaders n i reli need to seek Him daily becoz i can sense that if i'm not deep in His word i will just feel horrible abt things. But honestly I reli thank God for my mentors and ppl who kp me in their prayers and reli when I was in need the Lord sent forth help. and i've been blessed with materials tat kp me goin daily.

sometimes I wonder why some still struggle and see their problems as deadends in their lives. Why do I see mine in a different light? Why don't i feel the weight when things wrong? they are knowledgable, they are old enough yet why don't they see wat I see? I dun intend to sound proud or puffed up, its seems so simple isnt it? but why don't ppl fully grasp it?

this is one of my burdens. and i reli see my role in this and reli the thing tat struck me is how will they noe? How will they see wat I see? How will they see things the way I do? And most imptly how will they see tat the one who allows me to be wat I am is Him who is in control of my life... There'll be more joy for me if I see fellow brethren enjoying the presence of God in their lives. Sometimes the only clear thing God gives us is tat we just hv to do it even if it seems like its goin nowhere. abraham was promised a son but he waited how long b4 his son isaac was born? along the way he did fall but he kept holdin on to the promise.

anyway reli gotta start prayin and start entrustin as I've began to surrender my all to Him. I know i've yet to apply for my nxt level of studies plannin to do it nxt wk dun wanna lose out on anythin.

anyway i enjoyed the process and seeing the result and the growin of the ppl around me. wells I noe the one thing tat bugs me and I m also guilty of this, we arent reli being true to one another yet. But I know God is leadin us there.

My Jesus, My saviour
Lord there is none like you!
All of my days,
I want to praise the wonders of your mighty love

my comfort, my shelter
tower of refuge and strength
let every breath
all that I am
never cease to worship you

i reli wanna see Him work in others as well so I may rejoice in their victories as well....