:)

That is a smile to savour. Never have I seen a smile full of relief, happiness and abit of expectation(meaning wondering wat would come next). It comes to me as if he is sayin, "its over and Thank God its finally over."

As gruelling as the times may hv been for him-climbin those hills, running those distances- one thought was always in head, "i'd get through this". There were moments he admits where he thought he could not go on, where he thought tat this may be the final step he'd take and dropout. Initially he thought he was not up to the task. Yet he did it. He made it. He marched out tat parade square proud tat he did. Thank God dat he did.

Now back to a place he calls home, he looks back and thinks of the lessons he has learnt. Lessons that may not meet the aims the organisation hopes to achieve, but lessons tat will leave an imprint in him forever.

I guess one thing is for sure he has seen the worst and the best of himself and of ppl. He has seen tat being put through this fire he has seen how his patience has been put to the limit, how he has reacted to situations, how he as a person has grown.

As sobering as some things may be he realises tat he has alot to go through in this refining of oneself. Because after all its just another stage in the process. We arent the finished product yet. NO ONE IS TILL THEY LET THEIR LAST BREATH OUT. Or so I think. I am not promoting that this period of time is a life changer, but rather I am sayin that it is an opportunity to allow ur life to be changed. Whether u take on the values this organisation preaches or enhance and strengthen the values you've had. After all there are always 2 sides to everything. SOME just wanna go through this moments blindly and just do it for the sake of it because there is no choice. BUT i really beg to differ. If we wallow at the places we end up in and not seize every chance and opportunity, i'd say it'd be a waste.

Though some say tat the place he'll be goin is a place whr he may rot and just end up like the rest who has been. But that's the challenge. He doesnt wanna wallow and waste. He wants to try to make the best out of this. Even as frustratin and repetitive it would be he wants to believe that there can be something better that can come out of it. That yes its soldiers he may be trainin but after all its humans/ppl he'll be dealing with.

He looks forward to it. He relishes the opportunity. Yet at the back of his mind he feels wat he has gained through those wks leadin up to this moment may not be applied. And may feel inadequate. But he know's that is the challenge after all? TO see wat can be applied.

One thing tugs at his heart now.

It is that feeling of reaching out. Connecting and communicatin to ppl whom he misses. The need to express. The need to understand and be understood. The ability to just be who he is and feel the warmth of real friendship. Not sayin he din find any during his time there. But its different. He'd say he had many buddies and friends, but none in which he can reli just be him. Probably its the things they are interested in, the things they talk abt. But i guess thats the lesson he learns that sometimes not everything can meet our needs, but it will be met somehow sometimes someday.(the days came unexpectedly and he cherishes them)

Anyway i guess one picture can mean alot. I am intrigued by this photo as it just summarises and reminds me of a phase and a stage, whr I went through neither heaven nor hell but to put it simply it was a lil bit of both in a place called hotel...

I will miss those days and look forward to more days such as those...