why?

why is it that only when we realise that our lives are on the line than we start thinking of eternity? we start thinking of the little things that we've put aside. Why is it that we suddenly find out that all that we've been doing is not really worth the time on earth when at the end of it you can't take it with you? Why only when we are confronted with our true situation then we begin to think why do we do what we do...Do we have to wait till then?

silly. silly people we are. lost in our own lives thinking we are ever in control. living today as if the sun will rise again. using our own intuitions, gut feelings, and assessments to walk this life. but to what gain?

today I just wanna write a reflection to those who're facing difficulties and are thinking of giving up.

To be honest, may,june and july of this year are the three months where I'd say I could have thrown in the towel. In what context you mean? I was really down and out, discouraged and hurt to say the least. I felt that I couldn't handle everything thrown at me and felt that there was not a soul who supported me. It was a drag to be honest. A drag. Even to say how lonely it felt to just cover up the feelings inside. To pretend all was fine when in fact it was not.

I ran away one day. Because I din wanna face the fact that I needed help. Aimlessly walking, wondering. Spending time alone thinking why is it so painful living this life? I was pleading for my life to just end there and then. But somehow it didn't. Probably that was what God wanted me. For it was there where my faith was tested. Where my tired legs collapsed. And i acknowledged i can't run anymore. All those years of having Him lead my life every step of the way. Having Him bless my path. SInce the day I said I want you to lead, you promised and here was I cursing my current state. So much for faith and trust and hope...

God's merciful. And I know that I've not been honest with myself this past few months. That I've not really been a good worker. But know wat? He didn't leave me to just sit there collapsed. He personally picked me up and renewed my strength, the moment I acknowledged it he restored me then and there. Sent "angels" to minister to me. Then I finally saw that I"m not yet the finished product. God's still working his ways in me slowly. Grafting in His words into my life. Washing my stained heart. He has never left. He will never leave. He has broken the bonds that I"m so ashamed. He has set me free. I am free. And I know He allowed circumstances to occur.

SO armed with this what do I do? Do I carry on just like the way I was. God forbid. It's a constant battle. The sins that remain You'll help me fight it because sin doesnt reign here. God I pray you work in others as you've worked in me. Let them see the bonds they are in. That only you can set them free...ONly you can strengthen them. LIke i was the past 3months. Giving up seemed so easy. But God you're the one who reminds, what a test oh Lord. What a trial. ANd I thank you Lord that I know I can face trials with you by my side...

Face it. Know it. Want it. Do it. Hold fast to it. TO His Word.